My irritable uterus woke me up last night. I rolled over in bed; although at 40wks pregnant the word roll is too soft,too short to describe the manoeuvre of my belly and hips from one angle to another. My uterus woke up and quipped "what the fuuuck!". She's irritable most nights now.
I breathed slowly into the darkness while she moaned low "Fuuuhck yooou". She exhaled "I'm full of baby, full and stretched..."
"Is this it?" I queried her.
"Just wait" - She sniggered, "Wait and see"
And I do, blithely, for ten minutes until she calls out again and again, "I'm full of baby and tired - your hips are in my way, MOOVE them!"
I shift my weight and hope she is pulling my cervix back like flower petals unfurling, swellings like fruit ripening under her hormonal pressure.
"And now?" I ask, so hopeful and naive, for then she is moodily quiet and the minutes tick by. The seconds creeping through the darkness until twenty five minutes have passed and she whispers, under my skin, with a half hearted tightening "Oh not tonight - I'm just irritable is all." Leaving me to waiting, wondering, and walking the dog at dawn. Hoping to stir her into action, and a better mood.
Pregnant woman seeks purposeful uterus for ultimate pairing. Let's give birth baby. I need some womb to move.
And announcing the blessed birth of one bouncing baby boy. Born at term plus 8 with the delightful help of my sprightly uterus who went into action beautifully with a handful of purposeful contractions leading to the delivery of my son in the dawn of day on the 10/7/2013
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